An Evening with Marie Forleo

While in Los Angeles, California, I got to see one of my first business mentors, Marie Forleo.  I spent the evening with her, during her "Everything Is Figureoutable" tour, and soaked up the wisdom, learning, laughs, and we all enjoyed the dance party, with her NYC DJ.  The energy there was incredible.

I'm a big believer in life-long learning, because it's essential to our growth, and to our personal evolution.  I love connecting with mentors, new people, or those who've influenced me, in person, because it's powerful and motivating to be surrounded by like-minded people.  I find it pushes and inspires me to grow even further.

I got to ask Marie whatever I wanted.  Are you curious what that was?  I'll tell you all about it. 

A topic I'm passionate about is empowering women and girls.  I feel that although there has been some progress made, there is more work to be done in this space.  So here's what I asked Marie Forleo... 

 Jessica Garcia Fillmore

"Marie, I know that you've done a lot of work with women, and you've shared a lot of stories in the book. I'm excited to read the book. 

In your opinion, do you feel that there are any barriers, whether internal or external, that maybe women struggle with, when it comes to going for their dreams that might be unique to women?"

Marie Forleo 

"Well, I think, you know, this is humans in general. Reports show that up to 70% of us struggle with imposter syndrome and this feeling that we don't belong where we are, that we're a fraud or fake or that someone's going to figure out that we don't know what the hell we're doing. Right? Does anyone else relate to that in the audience?

It typically tends to impact women and minorities stronger.

Why? Because culturally speaking, most of the circles of influence and power have been in men, specifically white men. So anytime we show up in a space we're always like, "Oh, I don't know if I belong here or is someone going to figure me out." So that's a struggle that I think can be particular to women and particularly to minority communities that we just have to keep awareness over.

We talk about this in the book actually. So there's some strategies that I share that I think can be really helpful, but that's one of the struggles I'm think we have to just keep our awareness about, of not feeling like we belong in this space because culturally and historically, we haven't really been there. You know, and so we need to start showing up and feeling really comfortable in those spaces." - Marie Forleo 

I full-heartedly agree with Marie's response here, because many of us do, or have, struggled with imposter syndrome, myself included. 

So what can we do, when we start to see self-doubt, or feelings of inadequacy, failure or feeling like a fake, start to show up in our lives? 

Here's 3 ideas I have for you to experiment with.   

1. Write down the evidence. 

We can think of a million reasons why we don't feel adequate enough or we don't belong, or the belief that we're not good enough, prepared enough, capable enough etc.  Instead of focusing on the reasons why you don't, turn that focus and shine the light on all of the reasons why you do. 

Think of all the things, big or small, that qualify you.  Go deep and keep listing every possible reason.  I promise that it's enough.  This is evidence and reason for you to succeed in the area that you want to.  

2. You have the desire for something. 

Remember that there is a purpose and reason behind it.  It's no coincidence that the things you desire, those ideas are coming to you. It's because they're meant for you.  Trust that.  Trust that your desires are because you're meant to go after them.  You're meant to realize them, so stop believing that you're an imposter in the pursuit of what you want. 

3. You don't have to know everything.

You don't have to know it all.  Isn't that comforting to realize this? It's normal not to know everything, but you can be confident in your ability to search for resources and tools to help you find answers.  We all have google, books, and people we can connect with to help us find answers.  You don't have to know everything about a topic or area of life, it's impossible. There are plenty of resources from Harvard University on overcoming imposter syndrome, if you'd like to go deeper into this topic. Even the brightest of minds struggle with it. 

So let me ask you this.  Have you struggled with imposter syndrome?  If so, what is one area that you've struggled with.  Let me know, I'd love to hear from you.