How to Build Confidence

Why is it that some people seemingly tend to be overflowing with confidence, while others really struggle?  

Maybe their confidence is in-consistent, some days feeling amazing, while others it’s down the drain.  When we lack confidence, here's what happens.

We get stuck in negative self talk, maybe stop taking action, feel awkward, shy, doubt ourselves and maybe feel incompetent in our abilities, social life, or struggle with self image. 

It can affect our performance in work, family life, how we feel and the way we show up in the world. I’m sharing some ideas on how to build more confidence, because here’s the truth:  

1. No One Has It All Together. 

Everyone has moments where they question themselves or have moments where their confidence takes a blow.  So, if you see someone who seems to have it all figured out, chances are they don’t either. But, they might have some practices or things they do differently, to help them bounce back and build more confidence.  

2. Believe and Become.

 We've all heard the saying “fake it till you make it,” but what about believe it and you'll become it.  I prefer the later. There’s nothing fake about it. 

Our thoughts and beliefs are powerful, because they create our reality.  They’re the lens through which we see ourselves and the world around us. 

So believing and visualizing that you’re capable, or already a confident person is essential to moving things forward.  But you need to really believe it and practice being and behaving like a confident person. You’ll also need to see some evidence, some proof to help you reinforce your beliefs.  

3. Become Competent.

Our skills, talents and abilities are not fixed.  We have the ability to learn, grow, and figure it out.  You can become competent in whatever you set your mind to, if you embrace learning and being teachable.  With enough consistency, grit and discipline, you can improve in whatever area you choose. It’s possible.  And the best part is, the more competent you feel in a certain area, skill, relationship, etc., you also become more confident!  Imagine that. If you’re measuring or tracking your progress, it’s real evidence and proof that your confidence can grow. Focus on small wins and build momentum. The sky's the limit. 

4. Get Back Up. 

Easier said than done, right?   But when something, or someone, has made a dent in your confidence, it’s sometimes tough to brush it off and get back up.  

But you have to let it go.  You have to learn from that experience and get back in the arena.  No matter how badly you want to stay curled up and ugly cry in the corner, or how tough it feels.  Don’t give up, just get back up, shake it off, dance it off, whatever you have to do to help you release those emotions and get perspective again.  

I once heard the saying that no experience is ever wasted.  This changed my perspective. When we look at our experiences, yes, even those hard ones that affect our confidence, as valuable lessons that help us grow, it changes everything.

5. Feel More of It. 

What makes you feel more confident? Is it when you’re dressed a certain way, maybe when you're engaged in a certain activity, or around certain people?  Maybe it's when you're practicing positive self talk or affirmations? Is it when you're listening to something?  What is it for you? 

Set yourself up to win and do more things that make you feel confident, from the inside out. 

Think of a time where you felt really great. Where you felt more confident (no matter how big or small). 

What was different? Take notice and observe what that looks like for you and do it more regularly. 

I'd love to hear form you.  What's one thing that you want to try to boost your confidence? Let me know!!!